Friday, September 14, 2012

"Jesus don't have no boss"...

A couple of weeks ago at work, one of the girls //13 years old and sassy to be exact//, was throwing a tantrum because she had said the F-word [again] and needed to take a timeout in her room. She HATED this and sat on the couch and pouted/yelled/let her deepest beliefs spill out of her without even knowing it... She said ridiculous, irrational things, but one thing she said struck me..

girl: "Jesus Christ!"
me: "...yes?"
girl: "I'm jealous of Jesus Christ!"
me: "why are you jealous of Jesus?"
girl: "because Jesus Christ don't have no boss!"

I thought about discussing the theology behind this. (i.e. submitting to the Father, we have to submit to God's rules and the authority He's put over us) but instead I decided to address the fact that this girl did not like bosses.
The conversation dwendled, the girl went to her room and fell asleep...

But her comment stuck with me..
I kind of thought "don't we all?"
 I mean, don't we all want to be Jesus?
 and not foremost because we want to be holy and pleasing to God, but because we want to BE God. 

I was reading Luke 20:9-18 about the wicked tenants:
{My Version}

So there was a dude who planted a vineyard and hired some workers to oversee it while he was on vaca. When he came back he sent one of his servants to get some fruit juice from the workers. The workers beat his face in and sent him back empty-handed. So the dude sent another servant and they beat his face in too and sent him back with nothing. The dude was like "what the crap? maybe if I send my son they will respect him." The meany workers said "look its his heir. let's kill him, so that the inheritance may be ours."

There are probably 100 other truths to be gleaned from this passage but what stuck out to me today as I read this is the desire to BE Jesus. The wicked tenants wanted to BE the son worthy of the inheritance, so they killed him, a foreshadow of what happens a few chapters later..

This is my biggest struggle in my life. I love Jesus but I fight against myself and Him because I secretly (and at times not so secretly) want to be JESUS. I want to be able to control the wind and the storms in my life and think the things that he 'puts me through' are nonsense and I would do it a different way if I had my way with the universe. I don't trust Jesus because I want to be Him at times, because I often think I would do a better job...

This is Pish Posh. A clay pot telling the potter he's not good at potting and I, the pot, would be a better potter although I lack arms and talent and a brain, because after all, I am just a pot, in need of constant sculpting and refining...

All this to say, I guess this is what it means to confess that God is..God. and I am not. 

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